Strength in Vulnerability

As we arrived home from dinner one-night last week, my husband turned to me and said, “You know you’ve really shown what a strong person you are”. His words made me reflect on what true strength really means especially in the face of grief. He wasn’t making a derogatory statement; he was acknowledging a common misbelief that composure and strength are directly related.

The world admires strength in the face of adversity. Moreover, society equates composure with resilience, with strength. Our society is not comfortable with grief, so we put on a brave face, while inside, we are nothing but a storm of emotions. We feel anything but strong. We feel shattered, as if our very soul is damaged and our life is forever altered. Every beat of our heart reminds us of what we have lost.

But we are strong. I mean superhero strong. Our true strength lies in our not hiding our emotions but in our ability to embrace them fully. Now, that takes courage and strength. Showing our heartache takes strength. It takes a lot of courage to let our mask slip, if only for a moment, and show the world our raw, unfiltered grief that resides within us. My grief is worthy of every tear that I shed. I need people to see that I am NOT ok that my son is gone. I need them to see that my real strength lies in embracing all the emotions I’m feeling, not in putting on a brave face.

So put on your superhero cape and cry, scream, shout; whatever you need to do and when you’re done with all of that, take a deep breath, give yourself some grace and remind yourself that it took real strength to do it.

In embracing our grief and acknowledging our vulnerability, we show our real strength and hopefully find our way to some sort of healing. We must stay present, honor our feelings and connect with others. Remember, true strength lies not in hiding our emotions, but in embracing them fully.

Walking the path with you all

Lynn

Living With Child Loss